my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
