I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
