This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
