I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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