community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
