i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
