Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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