Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize