he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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