Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
