Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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