it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
