After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Sober January is a disaster.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
