WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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