I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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