We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
