You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
