i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
