drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
