So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
