never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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