No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
