I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Drake has all the answers
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
