i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
