So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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