i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
