Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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