Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
