The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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