the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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