We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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