i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
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I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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