I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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