it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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