So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We're too hungover to prance.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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