i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
