I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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