Yo dont text me then not text me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
