respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
