I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize