so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
third nipple confirmed
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
