By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
