New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
