Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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