If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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