I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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