were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Boobs are out for the taking
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
