Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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