I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
