physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize