I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
