I wannas sexs uuuuu
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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