Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
