I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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