Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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