All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
