hotel room ftw
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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